On being healthy…

So I’ve alluded to my history with body image issues and eating issues on here a bit before, but I wanted to post a little update.

After a week of a little relapse into feeling really negative about myself, and definitely not eating enough at all, I actually are a lot today. Like a lot. Probably 1700 calories maybe 1800. But it felt good. I’m proud of myself. I had the energy to teach yoga and do one of my old badass lifting routines. I have decided on staying super healthy and keeping up my energy and workouts even if I’m gaining on the scale. Logically, I know the only reason I’ve been gaining weight is that my body was practically in starvation mode for a long time, and so now even eating a ‘normal’ amount is going to have me gaining weight for a while…but I know that after a while I will even out and finally be healthy.

I need to keep a level head and focus on my health and getting muscle rather than being starving and weak for the sake of being thin. It’s gonna be a struggle after so long focusing on restricting calories and being thin but I miss being strong and having energy. I just need to focus on that right now.  My goal is to have the energy to run another half marathon this year and to get my strength and muscles back.

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3 Comments

Filed under fitness, food, Life

3 responses to “On being healthy…

  1. I really applaud you for that. I am trying to do the same thing. I was anorexic when I was 15 and have had eating issues since then – so for the past 8 years. Even though I know the same will happen to me {gaining weight from eating a normal amount}, I am so happy to be able to be free – or almost free – from those things running my life. Keep at it and good luck 🙂

    • It is so hard….today I stepped on the scale (which I shouldn’t do!!!!) and realized I really had gained 16 lbs since June. But then I really rationalized everything before I freaked out…I took some pictures of me in my bathing suit and compared them with pictures from this summer…because honestly, I was super surpirsed in June when I saw pictures of myself at my lowest weight, and realized I actually looked fat…because basically my body was eating muscle as well as fat since I just plain wasn’t fueling it properly. Long story short, I am trying really hard to deal with this weight gain in a healthy way!

  2. You go girl! I am still recovering from the holiday binge eek!

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