On being healthy…

So I’ve alluded to my history with body image issues and eating issues on here a bit before, but I wanted to post a little update.

After a week of a little relapse into feeling really negative about myself, and definitely not eating enough at all, I actually are a lot today. Like a lot. Probably 1700 calories maybe 1800. But it felt good. I’m proud of myself. I had the energy to teach yoga and do one of my old badass lifting routines. I have decided on staying super healthy and keeping up my energy and workouts even if I’m gaining on the scale. Logically, I know the only reason I’ve been gaining weight is that my body was practically in starvation mode for a long time, and so now even eating a ‘normal’ amount is going to have me gaining weight for a while…but I know that after a while I will even out and finally be healthy.

I need to keep a level head and focus on my health and getting muscle rather than being starving and weak for the sake of being thin. It’s gonna be a struggle after so long focusing on restricting calories and being thin but I miss being strong and having energy. I just need to focus on that right now.  My goal is to have the energy to run another half marathon this year and to get my strength and muscles back.



Filed under fitness, food, Life

3 responses to “On being healthy…

  1. I really applaud you for that. I am trying to do the same thing. I was anorexic when I was 15 and have had eating issues since then – so for the past 8 years. Even though I know the same will happen to me {gaining weight from eating a normal amount}, I am so happy to be able to be free – or almost free – from those things running my life. Keep at it and good luck 🙂

    • It is so hard….today I stepped on the scale (which I shouldn’t do!!!!) and realized I really had gained 16 lbs since June. But then I really rationalized everything before I freaked out…I took some pictures of me in my bathing suit and compared them with pictures from this summer…because honestly, I was super surpirsed in June when I saw pictures of myself at my lowest weight, and realized I actually looked fat…because basically my body was eating muscle as well as fat since I just plain wasn’t fueling it properly. Long story short, I am trying really hard to deal with this weight gain in a healthy way!

  2. bonkasaurus

    You go girl! I am still recovering from the holiday binge eek!

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